Flash Fiction #4

As I stared up at the ceiling as I was lying on my bed, I didn't feel like doing anything. It's usually what happens when there isn't school. I couldn't feel any motivation in making any effort to continue on. I turned my head to the right to look at a picture frame and a folded piece of paper on my bedside drawer. I took both of them for a closer viewing and held it up in the air, admiring it from afar. Four years ago, these two objects were one of the most important memories in my life. I kept it close to me then because of two reasons. They represented the deepest portion of my heart while at the same time a reminder to not make the same mistakes. I swore that no matter what I will conquer the fear and sadness before moving on at that time. I kept to it in the beginning. They were my purpose to continuing on. Now after time has passed, the same feeling that I had then didn't mean as much to me now. But then if I were to disregard them, what can I conclude these 4 years? What was I doing? I felt as empty without them as inanimate objects became a part of my life.

My cell phone had vibrated and I knew that I had received a text message. It had come from my friend, Jenny. It read, "Are you free today? We're all heading out to grab a bite to eat. Come along!"

After I read it, I hesitated to respond back thinking how I should reply. "Maybe later... Busy. I'll text you later."

Within seconds, she had written, "Alright! We'll be waiting! I hope you're still not hung up over what happened. Smiling will make everything better! =D See?"

I chuckled and sat up afterwards. I always envy Jenny and her positive outlook on life. She balances out my pessimism with her optimism. Then I went over to my closet to see what I could change into and as I was searching, I saw a box in the back corner of the closet. I bent down and dragged the box out into my room with curiosity. I had sneezed due to disturbing the accumulation of dust on the box and the contents within. They were all of my childhood toys and I looked at them feeling nostalgic. But most importantly I saw my yearbooks from the last couple of years. I sat down in the middle of the room and took the first one out to flip through the pages. I always like going through pictures to recall the memories as if they were yesterday, but what I enjoyed the most were the comments written in the yearbooks.

Four years ago, there weren't that many comments from friends and it felt lonely. Thinking back, people probably didn't want to talk to a quiet, shy, and depressed pessimist. I personally don't see any change in me, but as I went through the yearbook from last year the number of comments had increased. I could call some of them my friends, and it made my heart all warm inside with happiness. Even then why was I still hesitant now? I should be out there with my friends rather than in my dimly lit room.

I smiled as I read some of their comments.

"Hey! It was great meeting you this year! You're such a nice guy even though you were quiet. Keep in touch over the summer, okay? Have a nice summer and see you next year!"

"You're awesome, cool, and smart, man. Keep it up. See you next year!"

"No matter what happens, we're with you all the way. Smile more. You're among friends, so feel free to open up and express yourself. Don't be afraid. Hopefully we'll see you over the summer before school starts again!"

As I closed the last yearbook, I wiped my tears with a tissue and stood up with determined and clear eyes. I quickly changed into my outdoor clothes and grabbed the folded piece of paper to head out. "Mom! Dad! I'm going out for a couple of hours!"

I was going to tell them how much I treasure each of them no matter what. It may not matter, but the past is long gone. I may not know the lesson learned now, but I can't give up the people that have supported me all of these years. I want to trust them and get through this together, rather than going at it alone.

Then I turned the doorknob, and took that first step into the present and onwards for the future.